nana_duty

truth is nana has never been given enough credit for the things she’s done for others. throughout my elementary years things at home were crazy which all my family knew too well. with things being as crazy as they were everyone has always said how lucky my siblings and i have been to grow up and become the people that we are today.

truth is most of it is due to nana. nana did more for my siblings and myself than we’ll ever know. the only reason we had housing and food was mainly due to nana always lending a hand. she may have not always spoke to us kindly or handled situations the way we felt right but in the end that’s not what is important. 

the bond my siblings and i have is unusual when seen by others. the relationship we’ve grown is due to everything we saw when we were younger and the transitions we all made, some together and some much apart. but personally i think nana knew all along that she couldn’t help us the way we all wanted her to, she was there to help her daughter in the best way she knew how. she knew all along that we had the strength to keep our heads straight and guide ourselves with the help of other family members.

truth is nana always knew best and though she may not say it i can see in her eyes how proud she is for the way we have each grown up and we have her to thank for that.

what i’ve come to realize most while dealing with nana is what grabs her attention and what doesn’t. usually when someone comes to visit or just gets here nana realizes that this is the first time she’s seen them today and as long as she’s awake she greets them with a smile to show she’s happy they’ve come to visit.

after my first few days here with nana i realized that there must be an easier way to spend time with her. mostly when people come to speak to her they talk to while standing over her bed or pull up a chair, but even with that you have to be lucky enough that it’s a good day and nana’s interested in having a full out conversation.

i realized that nana spoke to me most often when i laid in bed beside her. like i said in an earlier post nana loves most when someone is there holding her hand, or just knowing that there is someone there beside her. the next two posts have great pictures and videos of conversations i’ve had while we cuddle.

Having Nana at our house has made me realize, even more than I had before, how important we are to each other. I’ve always loved Nana, I just never knew how much of a positive impact she’s had on my life.
I am thankful for the family she has created for us. I’m thankful for her children, who in one way or another, has helped shape me. She gave me my mother. I’m blessed to have parents who have shown me unconditional love, especially through the hard times we’ve endured.
I am thankful for having this opportunity. I am so blessed to have a grandparent to spend time with, to listen to her stories, and learn from her.
I knew that, when this opportunity presented itself, I had to take it. I’m not sure who benefits more from this… But I’m pretty sure it’s me.

I love you, Nana.

signed, nana’s bodyguard

As I went into Nana’s bedroom last night, she was grabbing onto her bedrails. I couldn’t help but think I was about to encounter another sleepless night. As I walked towards her bed, Nana started getting very emotional and talking very fast (I couldn’t understand anything she was saying; she’s been talking poorly the past couple of days). She stretched out her arms for me and was crying. I leaned down to give her a hug and ask her what was wrong. She kept pulling me closer and tighter and wouldn’t let me go… She said, in between wimpers,  “I’m happy.”
I smiled and told her I was happy too. I wanted E to come into Nana’s room, because it’s important for me to share these moments (as I know I could never “recreate the moment” with words; I’d do the moment zero justice). It’s as if she read my mind because she met me at Nana’s bedside, greeted by outstretched arms, welcoming her in for a Nana hug.
The tears kept flowing with a few sweet Nana giggles thrown in the mix. After the hugs subsided, Nana made sure that we were all happy. She pointed at both of us individually and asked, “are you happy?” It sounds like such a simple question, one you hear every once a in a while. This version of the question seemed so complex as if there was such meaning behind it.
Once the conclusion was made that we were all in a good place, Nana turned her attention to God, thanking Him.
It’s nice to hear Nana talking about The Big Man. With church/religion having played such an important role in her life, it’s heartwarming to know that she will always have her faith.

“We should sing. Should we sing?”
Nana’s a goofball.
E told Nana that she’s not a good singer. Nana nodded and said that she isn’t either. I told Nana that it would be best to leave the singing to Papa .

Nana nodded and said, “I guess so.”

signed, nana’s bodyguard

Dear nana,

If nothings going to happen the least you can do is throw us a thumbs up 👍🏻

Not all days with nana are bright and shiny. She tends to have a good day followed by three bad; mostly hallucinating or in a deep sleep. Though this pattern changes weekly and anything can be expected any day.

Coming over after a good day and expecting another to follow is a high hope which i learned fast. June 2nd we were afraid for nana. When i got to my cousins you could sense the amount she was frightened in her face and voice, having my aunt follow me over only made it more real to me that this was something serious.

The hospice nurse that comes weekly to check on nana had told Lhizz nana said she was afraid. The nurse followed by telling Lhizz we need to be telling nana that we are all okay and we will be, that’s a conversation i don’t think i would like to he having on my days there.

Lhizz is good about asking nana about death and whether it’s something she’s afraid of but i think that is something i’ll let her do herself until necessary or i’m put in the situation but not of my choice.

Seeing how it was a frightful day all we could do was sit with her. Those who know nana know she enjoys for someone to sit beside her and hold her hand which is what the day consisted of.

No one wants a day like this but it’s part of the process. And in the end we were there for her which is what makes her most grateful i’m sure.

Though there will be more days like this the next few posts will be of laughs and love!

Wait to see those that follow (:

-H.

starting off taking care of nana was a transition. Everyone thought i would be good at talking to her but i had no idea what i was supposed to be talking to her about. The reason they thought i was good at it was because i’m good at convincing nana of insane stories while wearing a straight face.

For example, during my visit home for spring break my aunt and uncle planned an easter brunch. When conversation dwindles what else to do but convince nana i don’t actually go to college but spend my spare time in jail because i think that’s where you find the best kind of friends. Nana listened with her eyes wide as i told the story with a straight face until the family told her i was just crazy and enjoyed making up things (: i do! For nana. Oh BABY. Just wait.

Anyways the first day she was awake enough for me to spend time with her we spoke some but i hadn’t thought of what we could talk about yet so instead we took some flawless “i woke up like this” kind of photos.

There y’all go. And that t’was June the 1st. El cumpleaños de mi hermaña Amber.

^nana doesn’t know spanish just so you all know, that’s a hobby of my own 😎

-H.

alright y’all. i’m not as interesting of a writer as i am a clown at talking to nana so my writing won’t fit up to the scale of Lhizz’s but you’ll have to deal because i’m about to add more to this website than your heart can take (:

before my journey home i was planning on going back to my old job plymouth place, but as i heard that my grandmother had been moved from my home to my cousins and that they may be needing a new nurse the idea popped in my head for me to take the spot, though it was only an idea! there were different stories going around about the nurse having to leave and who better to take care of a grandmother than her own grand-daughter.

after working in a retirement community and  seeing how often their families visited them made me realize i can give my grandmother better than that. this is something that my family kept saying too, that i would be so good at it which i didn’t really see at first but now i know. the happiness i’ve seen in my grandmother since i’ve been here is breathtaking and everything i’m going to add to this website will show the importance of growing a connection to someone you know you won’t always have. realizing this makes me aware that deciding to spend my summer this way is something i will never regret.

so let the posts begin (:

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these two pictures were on Mother’s Day May 10th, 2015. as i knew the family here was getting together to celebrate both Kate’s birthday and Mother’s Day i face-timed them while i was stillin Vegas to say hello and pretend i was celebrating with them!

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until the next heart-melting one is ready for y’all, H.

The CNA from hospice came this morning. Once she was done washing Nana up and was in the kitchen filling out paperwork, I asked her if Nana gave her any problems. Sometimes she likes to yell at her to get out of her room, but this morning she was a doll (I’m sure that’s due to her sleeping through the entire bathing routine)!

9pm and still snoozing. Tomorrow I’m going to tell her to get a job.

She was confused…

I

signed, nana’s bodyguard